


The Past is Gone but not Forgotten

by Ad_Victoriam31



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, And a Hug, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hurt!Mark, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Verbal Abuse, amy is an angel, mark needs a nap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 23:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ad_Victoriam31/pseuds/Ad_Victoriam31
Summary: When you're tired, the past and the present blur together a little easier. An ill-timed joke sends Mark careening into the not-so-pleasant past.





	The Past is Gone but not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This fic contains flashbacks to both verbal and physical abuse. Please do not read this if you are sensitive to these topics. This is in no way meant to make light of or romanticize abuse. Mark himself was in an abusive relationship when he was younger, and I wanted to capture how damaging abuse can be even years in the future.

Mark was tired. 

If he had been more awake, he might have described himself as exhausted or fatigued, but as he sat in front of the computer putting the finishing touches on a thumbnail, his drooping eyes proved he was anything but alert. Shaking himself awake for the hundredth time, he cursed his ADHD for keeping him awake so late the night before. An idea for a new skit had popped into his mind late the night before, and there was no way he was going to let himself forget it. It wasn't until Amy, in alien pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, shook his shoulder and forced him to go to bed, that he realized it was 3 am. If it had been any other day, he would have let himself sleep in an extra hour or two, but he had had a meeting bright and early. At 6:30 am, he had drowsily crawled out of bed, careful not to wake Amy, who had tangled herself in the sheets. The sun hadn't even risen yet.

Now, with his meeting over, video recorded and edited, and the thumbnail finally satisfactory (thank God), he stumbled downstairs to collapse on the couch. Amy glanced up and winced in sympathy as he buried his head in a pillow.

"Did you get everything finished?" 

He didn't reply, just groaned into the pillow miserably, which Amy took to be a yes. She didn't know whether to laugh at his plight or pat his back in sympathy. She compromised by tossing an apple at him, where it landed relatively gently on his back. 

"Owwwwww! Amy how could you!" 

She couldn't hold back a snicker. Mark was extra dramatic when he was sleep-deprived. "Dinner will be ready in like five minutes, eat that in the meantime." They both loved cooking, but at the moment, Amy wouldn't trust Mark with so much as a butter knife, much less a hot stove. She hummed the Wii theme as she diced mushrooms to add to the spaghetti sauce. He sat on the couch munching the apple, absentmindedly stroking Chica and Henry's heads in turn. The house was peaceful. Amy strained the spaghetti and distributed it into bowls and added sauce and extra salt for Mark. She sat down next to Mark and replaced the apple in his hand with a fork before setting his spaghetti in front of him.

"No more late nights, ok? You look like a zombie that was kidnapped by aliens and probed in the butt." 

Mark snorted and took a bite of spaghetti. Mouth full of noodles and sauce, he retorted "they couldn't resist taking me because I'm so fuckin' gorgeous!" He smirked, spaghetti sauce dripping down his chin, and ran his fingers through his hair like a model. 

Amy snorted and shoved him with a smile. "Aw, fuck off Mark."

_"Fuck off Mark, leave me alone. You're so clingy sometimes. You're lucky I love you because nobody else will."_

_"You were flirting with her, weren't you, you bastard! How could you do that to me! I love you, am I not good enough for you?!"_

_He was crouched on the floor, one hand to the throbbing handprint on his cheek, the other scrabbling behind him for something, anything to hold onto, anything to ground him. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry_ I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry _I'm sorry I'm sorry-" A kick to the ribs stopped the words tumbling out of his mouth and he curled up even farther, gasped for air and trembling._

"Come on, Mark. _Don't be such a big baby! It's just a toy, I'm getting rid of it because you're an adult now, you don't need stuff like that._

_"B-but that's mine! It's Tiny Box Tim, he's special t-to me! You can't just t-take my stuff!"_

_She whirled on him and he flinched, stumbling back. Her eyes were like ice and her words dripped with hatred. "How dare you tell me what to do. Look at yourself, do you think you're enough of a man to talk to me like that? 'T-that's m-m-mine, d-don't take my t-t-toy!'" She laughed cruelly._

"P-please don't." 

_Her eyes darkened further and she crouched down to look him in the eyes. "I'm doing this because_ I love you. _You'll thank me later." She walked out of the room with Tiny Box Tim dangling from one hand, intentionally grinding her heel into his bare foot._

" **Mark!** " Suddenly, Mark was back in his living room that was blurred by the tears streaking down his face. Amy's arms were around him, one hand stroking his hair, as she stared intently at him. Chica and Henry were whining, and Chica shoved her nose into his hand. He realized he was shaking.

"Hey, you're alright, you're safe. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Nobody's going to hurt you, I won't let them." If Mark's heartbeat hadn't been hovering at 120 bpm, he might have laughed at the idea of petite, gentle Amy protecting him. Instead, he collapsed into her, clinging to her as if she might disappear at any moment. They stayed there for a long time, crying, until Mark's breathing slowed and his shaking stopped. Mark was the first to speak.

"'m s-sorry" he muttered, wiping the tears from Amy's face. "D-didn' mean t' make you cry" 

Amy's heart just broke a little further hearing his words. It was just like Mark to have a full-blown flashback and panic attack, then apologize for it. She didn't want to think about why he did that, how he had been trained to feel guilty for pretty much everything. She flat-out refused to think about how his stutter had resurfaced and how that only happened when it was really, really bad. Instead, she hugged him a little tighter. 

"Hey. 애인. I'm fine, you worry about yourself. Are you ok?" 

Mark visibly relaxed at the pet name and nodded. Amy was the only one who ever called him that. He wiped his sleeve across his face and sniffed. A sudden wave of exhaustion from crying washed over him and his eyes, still red from the tears, slowly disappeared beneath heavy eyelids. 

~

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the cracks in the blinds, illuminating the peaceful room. Mark and Amy were curled up on the couch in each other's arms, legs tangled together. Henry was snuggled close to Mark's chest, while Chica stretched out at the base of the couch, guarding her family against any possible harm. Around them, the city stirred to life, hundreds of commuters rushing to work in LA traffic, but the little family continued to sleep peacefully. 

**Author's Note:**

> 애인 (ae-in) is Korean for sweetheart
> 
> I have this hc that Amy and Mark started using Korean pet names when Mark started learning Korean. Mark used to have a speech impediment when he was younger. I thought he might revert back to it in high-stress situations.
> 
> Please leave kudos or a comment if you liked this fic. This is my first fic on here, so if you have suggestions of what else I should write or criticisms, please let me know!


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